According to Forbes, 75% of people who make new year's resolutions will fail after 30 days and only 8% will achieve their resolution.
Well that sucks. And it's not necessary.
Psychology Today says there are four main reasons why resolutions fail, and I'm here to show you how to overcome those obstacles. In fact, "resolutions" are what I help client with everyday.
So, I'm going to set you up for success as we head into the next DECADE. Consider it my gift to you. It doesn't matter if your "resolutions" are health, wealth or lifestyle. You don't need to be skeptical and you don't need to get frustrated.
All you need is some coaching and perspective.
Four tips to help succeed with your new year's resolutions.
Get clear on your goals.
You need to have a good understanding about WHY this goals are important to you and how they will influence your life. Equally important are the emotions tied to the goal.
Now, if that sounds weird, hear me out and try this exercise.
Think of your goal. Then imagine yourself having accomplished that goal one year from now. You are at a special event of some kind - a party, a gathering, a business meeting. What are you wearing? How do you feel? How are you moving? What are you wearing, listening to, smelling, touching? How are other people interacting with you? What's going on? How do you feel?
Describe this in detail. Write it down.
Here's a couple of examples.
You want to lose 20 pounds. Don't describe the size pants you're wearing when you reach your goal. Describe what you're doing in those jeans and how those jeans make you FEEL. Sexy? Confident? Swagger? Active? Dancing like no one is watching?
You want to overcome your autoimmune symptoms. Let's talk about pain. Describe what having less pain means to you? Is it the ability to walk to the corner store and back? Is it to go to work on a regular basis? Have regular bowel movements because now you don't need as many pain killers? To play with your grandkids on the floor? Go to a zoomba or yoga class with friends? Go on river cruise through Prague and actually be able to enjoy every stop along the way?
This is how your goal will influence your life. These are the emotions attached to your goal.
This is your WHY.
Develop A Plan.
You wouldn't renovate a house without a plan would you? Or lead a team project at work without an action guide? Probably not.
You need a plan when it comes to your resolutions.
Resolutions often fail because people get overwhelmed. This is super common. I mean, life is overwhelming, right? If a task seems monumental, it's human nature to run and hide or ignore the problem. You don't even know where to start. So, you don't even get started.
And the easiest way to get to where you want to go is to work with someone (or something) who has gone before you. That's right. Draw on the expertise of others to help you develop a plan that is realistic and attainable. A coach, a book, a program, a friend.
Make sure you have a timeline in mind (that will increase accountability) and benchmarks to mark progress each step of the way. This will help you break down one big goal into smaller realistic tasks. You build on your success - it's like adding fuel to an engine.
I promise you that the sum of small efforts will lead to big wins. I see it all the time with my clients.
Adopt A Slow And Steady Mindset
People often bail on their resolutions because they feel discouraged. Again - super common!
We live in an "on-demand" culture. People want results FAST - typically, in the form of pill, potion or powder. I call them magic bullets.
When people don't get results overnight, they think it's the wrong approach and they go back to the "old way" of doing things.
But here's the thing. If nothing changes, nothing changes.
Fast and furious is not sustainable. Yes, you may find a quick fix, but then what? No new habits have been formed. And again, you go back to your "old way." And then you feel discouraged. And you're right back where you started - "NOTHING WORKS."
To help overcome feelings of discouragement, I advise you go back to the first two points. Review your WHY and your plan.
Accept You May Not Be Ready For Change
People sometimes have a hard time with resolutions because they are simply not ready. It's not they don't want a certain goal or change. It's just that it's not enough of a priority at this point in time. And so people make excuses. Any excuse will do.
OR they are making a resolution to appease other people (or a societal norm) and not themselves (hello wife or husband asking a partner to do something).
If you are struggling with getting clear on the why, when and how for your goal, this might be you.
And guess what - that's perfectly ok.
Other priorities need your attention. Take care of those and you're still taking care of yourself in your way, on your terms. And that's an awesome insight to start the new year with!
All the best for 2020 and beyond!
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